you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize