dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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