hell yes lets make some ravioli
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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