So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
