if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
