So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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