I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
