STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
