piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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