he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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