I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
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I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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