Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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