I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
