It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
