You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
