Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
