the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
