He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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