I feel great
I just peed on a car
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
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He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
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So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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