Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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