I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize