You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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