What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
