I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
