Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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