New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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