if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
