That's when you crack a 10am beer
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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