I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
