OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
