I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
