For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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