that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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