I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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