Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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