I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
