I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
