I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
