ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It's official drugs can't kill me
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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