i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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