so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
