he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
