so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.