Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

she kept yelling 'call me bella'

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.

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(206): View more from Washington

I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(484): View more from Pennsylvania

someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...

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(260): View more from Indiana

just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge

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(425): View more from Washington

I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.

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