She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.