Texts From Last Night

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  (937): View more from Ohio

  fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed

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  (937): fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed http://tfl.nu/6ylq
  Replies (3) Good night (843) Bad night (945)
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  (408): View more from California

  hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)

  (650): View more from California

  nah, i'm gonna grab some food

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  (408): hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;) (650): nah, i'm gonna grab some food http://tfl.nu/jz1a
  Replies (122) Good night (4738) Bad night (36350)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.

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  (478): wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward. http://tfl.nu/6j2p
  Replies (13) Good night (1079) Bad night (2190)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick

  (541): View more from Oregon

  the rest of him looks just as crooked

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  (503): I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick (541): the rest of him looks just as crooked http://tfl.nu/114k
  Replies (14) Good night (763) Bad night (4169)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  strike ten. I need to stop drinkng

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  (229): strike ten. I need to stop drinkng http://tfl.nu/uooh
  Replies (14) Good night (856) Bad night (2772)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife

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  (828): the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife http://tfl.nu/ib00
  Replies (67) Good night (8083) Bad night (2390)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.

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  (509): The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's. http://tfl.nu/3lzb
  Replies (16) Good night (849) Bad night (4780)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help

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  (423): I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help http://tfl.nu/q44r
  Replies (22) Good night (3779) Bad night (1573)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.

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  (816): After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship. http://tfl.nu/v7rc
  Replies (12) Good night (3449) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.

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  (347): his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you. http://tfl.nu/crxb
  Replies (9) Good night (3429) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake

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  (503): We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake http://tfl.nu/m3xg
  Replies (13) Good night (3443) Bad night (916)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.

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  (208): He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife. http://tfl.nu/5zhr
  Replies (8) Good night (698) Bad night (2315)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities

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  (206): Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities http://tfl.nu/0iqe
  Replies (11) Good night (3396) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.

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  (425): I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways. http://tfl.nu/uinc
  Replies (3) Good night (904) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.

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  (484): I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK. http://tfl.nu/cluw
  Replies (3) Good night (575) Bad night (102)

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