what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer