check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.