Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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