What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
this boner is exhausting
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
