Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
smell my finger.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
