It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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