'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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