I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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