I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
