Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
