Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
