i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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