Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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