I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize