Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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