Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
