come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
