Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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