i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
