Non-Jews are for practice
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
wow bdsm is so cute
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
