Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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