i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize