And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
